Monday, February 15, 2010
♥
UNEXPECTED.
HEY EARTHLINGS.
Another post for today.
Spent the whole day doing PR project with the usuals at Starbucks @ Raffles City.
Went out from house at 8.15 am.
Planning was to drop by at 711 to meet schoolmate, Naim for awhile since he works there.
But didn't see him. Maybe he went back earlier.
There was a reason why i went out from home earlier.
I don't wanna elaborate.
It really spoils my mood.
Heartpain.
*sighs*
Bought Famous Amos at 711 for breakfast.
Yes, that's what i had for breakfast.
Waited for that Farahneez for 1 hour.
1 HOUR OKAYY!
I wander at Yew Tee, like some orang tak betol sia.
Sheesh!
Train-ed down to City Hall to meet the others.
Did some got our duties to be done, did some discussions and went back at 12pm.
Didn't went back home straight.
Went to Farah's place to do PR research.
The project has to be re-done back, after reading the question really properly.
Farah and me were shouting and singing our hearts out.
Damn stressful, when everything has to be re-done.
Haiz.
Went back home around 5.30pm.
My mood started to change when i think of home.
I cooped myself up in my room for the rest of the day.
I was being treated like a total stranger by mum.
Mum, you'll never know how i feel.
Just because of that poly courses i chose, everything turned out like this?
Do you think i'm happy in this situation, not talking to you?
Do you think i enjoy?
No, i don't.
I feel like you're blaming me as if i've committed a grave mistake.
You didn't know how restless i was doing everything,
how much things running in my mind,
encountered sleepless nights thinking of this.
YOU DIDN'T KNOW AT ALL.
I might go nuts one day.
Haiz.
Even if i were to tell you, i wouldn't have the chance to fend for myself.
Coz i'm always in the wrong, in your eyes.
Everything i do doesn't seem right to you.
Although i sacrificed my feelings and wanting to make it up to you, you just ignored it.
You gave me the cold shoulders.
And Dad, i was suprised by what you said the other day.
TOTALLY SURPRISED.
Am i like a television, and you like the remote control?
Following each and everything you pressed on the remote.
I too have my own life.
I want to do something i like, not following people's feelings.
Is it hard for me?
And yeah, i heard you told brother about my "future".
I feel like giving up.
I might as well don't exist in the world right?
It's not that i don't appreciate that God has created me, but i'm totally tired.
Wait till i close my eyes forever, this blog will be the witness of how i've always feel.
Friends. They have been giving me endless encouragement.
I really appreciate it a lot.
I'm lucky to have you people in my life.
Thanks Rizal Fitness, for the encouragement and advice that you gave me.
But honestly, i do feel worried about what you said about my condition just now.
I didn't expect that it would turn out like that laa.
But, i can't do anything about it.
Thanks Nowreen, Farahliyana and Kat Kartini for the facebook comments.
I'm left speecless with your comments.
Not forgetting my best peeps, Idah, Hadah, Nana and Farahneez.
Thank you so much people.
I wonder how my life would be if you people didn't exist in my life.
Time now is 11.55pm.
I'm off now.
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