Tuesday, October 12, 2010
♥
HOW LONG?
Each and every one of us will perish one day.
It's just the matter of time.
I'll always think, when will i be gone..
I don't know why, but i feel like going nuts slowly.
I'm not praying for that, but i can feel it.
I'm too stressed and depressed with my surroundings.
Never once i have a good sleep in my house, as there's always something in my mind.
Went to aunt's place after morning shift earlier on, and had some sleep there.
Surprisingly, within less than 10 minutes, i'm off to sleep.
But it's otherwise in my own home.
Why is that so?
Too much things running in my mind.
Yes, people see me carving a smile on my face everyday, but there's something behind it too.
From family, to house, to financial, to personal life.
My parents kept bugging me to find other job.
And i'm the only one who can save the house.
I get stressed everytime when this matter is brought up.
I don't know where to turn to, except praying to Allah.
Dear Allah, please forgive my sins that i've done all these while.
Please lighten my burden and my mind.
I don't know till when i can stand.
Coz seriously, i'm very tired. Too tired.
My brother has become my own enemy now.
No respect for me at all, and i'm blamed for everything which has happened.
I kept giving in, till i forgot about myself.
Who expects that things would turn out to be this bad?
Dear brother, i love you a lot.
But why do you always hurt me?
I can't show or explain how i feel now, but once i'm gone, i want him to read this.
Best friends, and SMRT friends have been there for me when i needed them.
To the 4 sisters: You girls have been giving me strength since during school days.
I treated the 4 of you like my own siblings. I've never regretted having best friends like you girls.
To Maroon 6 clan: You girls have been great friends for me and made my school days enjoyable although i was down with problems. Thank you so much girls. ITE days was the best afterall.
To SMRT friends like Herman, Diana, Kak Siti: I thank you all for always being there for me. Herman, thanks for the never ending encouraging words. You're the closest to me amongst the other 2.
I'll never ever throw you people out of my life. I promise.
To my dear Nazirul: Like what i've said, if happens that one day i'm no more by your side, your life has to go on.
You're such a nice and sweet guy.
I've never felt being loved so sincerely.
I thank Allah for giving you to me.
I don't even want you to regret having me in your life.
Coz this Farhana that you know isn't strong at all.
From my health, to everything.
Whatever it is, i want you people to know that Farhana sayang sangat dengan korang semua.
Tears are rolling down as i'm typing all these.
I'm really thankful to have you people in my life.
Allah is great.
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