Thursday, October 7, 2010
♥
SPEECHLESS.
I'm speechless over what i heard with my very own ears this morning.
The moment i wake up and heard a conversation, my tears started to roll down.
I don't know why, whenever my family talks negatively about me, i'll wake up from sleep at that point of time.
It seems like whatever i've done, is not being cared or appreciated at all.
So all these while, they have the thinking that i'm doing all this for myself, not for the family?
I HATE IT WHEN THEY THINK LIKE THAT.
Although i'm not healthy, at least i'm independent at some situations.
I don't shake legs at home.
I still go to work, although i'm sick.
However tired i am, i still took OT to earn extra income.
Coz i know that my pay's not that high.
Although my pay's like that, i'm VERY HAPPY working at Pasir Ris station.
What's the use of working and earning good pay, if your working environment sucks to the core?
I didn't even complain of my ez-link's got low value every now and then.
Yes, i used to, but that was in the beginning when i just started to work in SMRT.
But now, i'm used to it already.
It's already good enough that i'm not they type of daughter who roams outside every weekends, spends money unnecessarily or whatsoever.
I've been tolerating all the nonsense in the house, since last time.
But till when?
I too have feelings.
I have the right to cry too.
This is my main problem.
Which is bottling up everything by myself.
If i expose everything, i'm afraid that i'll be labelled as rude to my family.
I don't want that.
That's the reason i remain silent.
But if this happens repeatedly, i can go nuts.
In fact, it happens all the time.
I'm always in the wrong in their eyes, and i've to given in eventually.
What's this? Do you take me as a doll?
Oh yeah, the best part is, my parents are embarrassed of me working at the platform.
Which they thinks it's only for old people.
Well, if they're embarrassed, i'm not.
Rezeki halal kan?
I don't fancy working in office, i'm not interested in it.
I'm happy as i am now.
I'm looking forward for train officer position.
Dapat kerja full-time, biar semua orang puas hati.
Yelah, kerja train officer standard sikit kan?
Daripada kerja kat platform?
*sighs*
Biar aku kerja, sampai aku tutup mata.
Kalau semua dah settle, biar semua orang puas hati.
I don't even care about myself anymore.
Dear Allah, i need your guidance.
I really want that train officer position.
I really need my driving license this year.
Please give me your blessings dear Allah.
I need you.
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